Current Mood: clean
Current Music: The Get Up Kids - Hannah Hold On
So much has changed since my last entry... what's new? Ehhh... nothing too exciting.
I changed my major and now I'm graduating next December! Which is exciting.... but then I'll only have one semester off before I start to pursue grad school at either App State or UNC-Asheville. I love Spanish, and I know I want to incorporate it into my job but I know I don't want to be a teacher at the grade school levels. Maybe a professor? Or just a translator of some kind? Who knows. It's so funny how I feel so fucking pressured to figure out the rest of my life when in reality I'm only 21 and EVERYTHING is still pretty much up in the air right now. And I know better than most that everything you have faith in in life can change in a single moment. So I'm trying not to stress about all this stuff.
I've actually been out on a couple dates recently but ehh... I just don't know. I don't know if it's just too soon after Greg's death for me to have feelings for another boy like that or if it's the boys themselves. I'm trying not to stress about all that stuff, either. I'm just following my instincts in the moment for every moment and not worrying about the typical girl stuff "What does this mean? What does THAT mean?" I guess it's a little selfish of me, because I think some of these dudes might really be interested in me and dating right now is nothing but an experiment for me.
Georgie James' album is amazing. As is Vampire Weekend! And the new Hot Chip is pretty decent. I love finding new music to fall in love with!
I miss everyone from back home a lot right now, even though I was just in Boone two weeks ago. I talk to most folks at least once a week but it's still hard being away from them. I guess because when I'm hanging out with them it's the closest I can feel to the way things used to be. Andy's deceitfulness/crazyness kinda complicates things if I just wanna go hang out at Matt's house but I guess looking at his track record I shouldn't really be surprised. I guess I just put too much faith into people that I care about; in the back of my mind I knew something was wrong but I just ignored it until it was too late. I've been over at Matt's and had a good time while ignoring Andy for the night, and though I don't prefer it that way I can do it again. Fuck him and all the shit he does to everyone that loves him, I'll never understand it and neither will anyone else I guess. Somewhere along the way (probably when I found out what was really going on) I just stopped caring, and I'm so thankful for that.